Courtesy of Universal Music Group
Courtesy of Universal Music Group

Asher Roth’s debut single “I Love College” was one of the most notable songs of the 2000s. I remember being a freshman in high school when I first heard it on the radio. I am now on my fourth year of my undergrad studies and although I cannot tell you everything I’ve learned in school, I can tell you I’ve retained some rules taught by Roth himself. There are plenty of key points laid down in Roth’s 2009 hit single to be taken away by every class of college students.

1. “Don’t have sex if she’s too gone. When it comes to condoms, put two on.” – Whether it be a casual hook-up or sex within a monogamous long-term relationship, it is always important that sex be consensual. Consent is defined as a sober, enthusiastic, ongoing “yes.” Also, it is important to use protection when engaging in sexual activity. Most public universities hand out free condoms in their student health center and even offer low-cost STD testing.

2. “I can get pizza a dollar a slice” – While you may not specifically be able to get a slice of pizza for the price of a dollar, most small businesses based in college towns offer discounts to students who present some form of identification from an institution. Make sure you look into deals and discounts specific to your school. Never spend more money than necessary.

3. Drink my beer and smoke my weed, but my good friends is all I need” – During the duration of your college career, it is important that you establish a good group of friends; friends that will study with you in the library until 2:00 in the morning, friends that will Uber with you to the bars every Thirsty Thursday, and friends that are always down for new experiences, such as concerts, festivals, and road. You want friends who will motivate you to be the best version of yourself.

4. “[There’s] nothing wrong with some fun, even if we did get a little bit too drunk.” – If your bills are paid, your grades are good, and your life is in order, go ahead and drink up. If you don’t feel your life is in order, feel free to drink up as well. But remember, as a student, your top priority is making good grades and lining up a high-paying career. Going out and partying are fun to do, but only okay in moderation. Remember, you are enrolled in college for the purpose of furthering your education.

5. “Pass out at 3, wake up at 10” – Working, studying, and maintaining a social life may result in a thrown off sleep schedule. The good thing about college is that one can schedule his or her classes to align with their other obligations. For example, if you do find yourself falling asleep at 3:00 A.M. and waking up seven hours later, you may want to schedule your school day to begin at 11:00 A.M., as opposed to signing up for 8:00 A.M. classes. Also, setting a schedule and prioritizing daily activities are skills that are vital in the workplace. Time management is one of the most important things you’ll learn throughout your college career.

6. “That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it.” – Technology has undoubtably come a long way in the nearly seven years since the release of “I Love College.” I consider myself very fortunate to be enrolled in college in the era when everybody and their mother owns a smartphone. Rather than “taping” the events that take place at a party, one can easily preserve memories via Instagram and Snapchat. Whether you’re at a music festival, a party, or just going out to a birthday dinner with friends, feel free to take all of the pictures and videos you want. Once you graduate, you’ll never be able to relive those exact moments ever again.. However, be careful about what you post on social media. As technology becomes more advanced, digging up dirt becomes easier for employers.

As my college career is nearing a close and a new generation begins the advancement of their education, I would like to thank Mr. Roth for creating the ultimate college survival guide. Although it never saw a follow-up mainstream hit, “I Love College” made more of an impact than I initially thought, and will always be one of my all-time favorite songs.