About six or seven months ago, I posted an entry called “Getting Through a Break-Up”, following the dissolution of a relationship. When I look back at it now, I realize that I handled it in a less-than rational manner and passed on advice to my readers as if by having my heart broken, I had somehow obtained all of the wisdom of the world. This time, I am going to give it to y’all straight; no bullshit, no sugarcoating, no nonsense. 

 

DO NOT

  • Make the promise that you two can still be friends: Don’t be the crazy ex that insists on still hanging out all the time. That’s fucking weird, and makes you look like you have coping issues. For the time being, it’s better that you immediately purge your ex from your social media accounts, delete pictures and conversation threads, and just accept the fact that they’re not that person anymore. Now, that’s not to say you two can’t ever be friends again. If you two are meant to reunite, whether it be romantic or platonic, you two will find your way back to each other. 

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  • Drink insane amounts of alcohol: Two days after the end of the aforementioned relationship, I downed an entire bottle of Andre Peach Moscato within the course of three minutes. This probably was not one of my finer moments, but I learned my lesson. I would advise going out to the bar and treating yourself to some liquid therapy, just don’t overdo it.  

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  • Share your ex’s secrets: Going around telling everyone “so-and-so has a small dick” or “what’s-their-face came from a broken family” looks very bad on your end. The fact that you two broke up doesn’t lessen the significance of the confidentiality you originally promised (unless, of course, they were abusive or violent towards you).

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DO

  • Go out with friends and loved ones: At this age, relationships come and go, but your friends and family are always going to have your back. Go to the bar, go out dancing, go to the spa, do whatever it takes. Keep yourself surrounded with those who remind you that you are loved and appreciated. 

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  • Make a list of things you like about yourself: This is perhaps my favorite thing to do after a break-up; remind myself how fucking great I am. I am smart, I am funny, I am cute, I make good grades, and I never let anything get in the way of my goals. I highly advise anyone dealing with heartache to make one of these lists as a means of boosting your confidence and heightening your self worth.

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  • Keep busy: Get ahead on school and work assignments, visit your family, direct your energy towards a hobby or project. Do whatever it takes to get your mind off of your ex, and emerge from this as a better person.

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In the original “Getting Through a Break-Up” entry, I ended by saying “these steps may not work for everyone.” Today, I can promise that based on my experiences, following these revised steps is the best course of action.

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