I have not been in a monogamous relationship for almost ten months, and that is largely due to the fact that I’m very busy with school and work. I mean, I’m sure I could be in a committed relationship if I wanted to be, however, I simply do not have the time.
If you remember my piece “What Are We?”, I mentioned that I do casually date, and that I see a few people on a regular basis. In the aforementioned piece, I talk about a guy named Sam, who dropped me in order to be monogamous to someone else. Between now and then, Sam did a Google search on Corey, the guy he was dating, and discovered he had a criminal record, which resulted in them breaking up.
Long story short, we’re both single again, and I invited him over last night.
When you regularly have sex with someone, you are bound to grow comfortable enough to have your awkward moments.
Due to the likelihood that Sam’s identity could possibly be discovered, I’ll spare the details of the specifically awkward moment that occurred last night, as he would probably be mortified if I publicized it. However, if you’ve ever done anal, you can probably figure out what happened.
Of course, I found the awkward moment to be funny, and when he left my apartment last night, I texted my friend, Clayton, about what happened, as I was expecting him to get a good laugh out of it.
“You’ll never believe what Sam did,” I texted Clayton, as I proceeded to continue telling the story.
“The ‘Sam’ guy from your blog?” Clayton asked. “Is ‘Sam’ his real name? Is his last name ‘[withheld]’?”
“How do you know who that is?” I asked.
Clayton graduated from a different University last May, therefore, I was surprised to learn that he and Sam knew each other, as Sam and I both go to UNT.
It turns out, Sam had also been talking to and casually seeing Clayton this past summer.
When Sam and Corey had begun dating, he ghosted Clayton without any explanation, which is the exact same thing he did to me. And then, once he discovered that Corey was a complete piece of shit, he texted both me and Clayton crawling back to us, neither Clayton or I knowing that the other was involved with Sam.
It’s crazy, because people will tell you all sorts of things to get what they want. While Sam and I were “doing it”, he would always say things like “I love you, baby” and I would say it back. Granted, the general rule of thumb is “I love you” doesn’t count during sex.
Sam tried to play me, however, I was not having it.
After making the connection with Clayton, I didn’t text Sam to curse him out or express any sort of frustration. I wasn’t even sad or angry about it. All I could do was laugh.
I know getting played by the same person twice would make anyone else angry, but I just wasn’t.
Have I been played by so many people that I have become desensitized to it? Maybe
Was I chill about it because it was a casual thing, and both of us knew we weren’t being monogamous to each other? Probably
Do I know my worth and realize that this isn’t the end of the world? Most definitely.
If I’ve learned anything from my years of dating, whether it be formal or casual, it’s that a person who knows their own worth can’t be played.
I know exactly what I have to offer, and I know that when the right person comes along, I’ll be ready to share it all with them. Anyone who tries to play me is truly just playing themselves.
The takeaways from this story are:
1. The Dallas LGBTQ community is far too small.
2. Once a player, always a player.
3. If you know your worth, you can’t get played.